


Your Love Is Sunlight

by Melusine11



Series: Melusine attempts to fix it [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo sass for days, Comfort, Does the author reference the mummy returns? you betcha, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Gentle Sex, Hair Braiding, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Healing, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Super Light Angst, TRoS Spoilers, They're both touch starved, They've been through a lot y'all, Vaginal Fingering, and they're making up for it, pseudo mutual masturbation I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:34:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21945175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melusine11/pseuds/Melusine11
Summary: Ben’s smile is beautiful. Rey wants to see it every day, always, for the rest of her existence. His grip behind her loosens, and he begins to slip from her. She refuses to let him go. His eyes close and he lays there so still on the cold ground.“Ben,” she whispers, stunned, hands moving over his chest. “Ben, please, don’t - you said I wasn’t alone.”She watches his forehead crinkle and then he groans. “I was serious about that,” he answers then inhales. “Give me a minute, apparently force healing really takes it out of me.”
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Melusine attempts to fix it [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708846
Comments: 165
Kudos: 919
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whaddup we goin fixing! I'm hoping to wrap it up within 5 chapters, but some of you know me...no promises, could be longer, but this won't be my only one, so I'm _trying_ to behave with this.
> 
> Thank you to merritmut and QueenofCarrotFlowers for looking this over for me.
> 
>   
> 

Ben’s smile is beautiful. Rey wants to see it every day, always, for the rest of her existence. His grip behind her loosens, and he begins to slip from her. She refuses to let him go. His eyes close and he lays there so still on the cold ground.

“Ben,” she whispers, stunned, hands moving over his chest. “Ben, please, don’t - you said I wasn’t alone.”

She watches his forehead crinkle and then he groans. “I was serious about that,” he answers then inhales. “Give me a minute, apparently force healing really takes it out of me.” Rey scoffs, equally relieved and amused. “Hey,” he whispers, hand slipping over her shoulder, dragging down her arm until he finds hers, “come down here.” He tugs gently, and she scrambles around so she’s not awkwardly folded over her right leg. Ben’s right hand comes up, and Rey presses her cheek into it. He cracks one eye open to stare up at her and he smiles again.

“I thought I almost lost you there,” he says, opening his other eye.

Rey reaches up, cups her hands around his, feels tears begin to gather. “For a moment there, you did,” she tells him as tears run down her cheeks. Ben pulls her ever closer and when his lips find hers she hiccups on a sob then throws herself atop him. “Ben.”

It’s sloppy and their teeth clack together at one point, but she hears Ben laugh amidst it all and it’s perfect. When she finally pulls away from him, she notices she’s still crying and swipes at her cheeks.

“It’s okay, we’re okay,” he assures her and she nods, and then starts crying again. “Oh, Rey,” he sighs, and she hears him shift. He’s so warm and solid around her as he holds her, cheek pressed tight against the top of her head. “I’m here,” he murmurs, and she nods against the soft fabric of his shirt. 

Of course, he’s here. It’s Ben, he’s a part of her, loves the way the force sings around them together like this. “I know.” 

She feels wrung out. And she doesn’t know if it’s the fact that she was dead minutes ago, or that the stress of the last few days has finally sloughed away into nothing, but she feels lost. “Don’t let me go,” she whispers to his chest, flattens her hands along it when he squeezes her tighter.

“We can’t stay here forever,” Ben tells her a few minutes later and she nods, sitting upright. She’s long since stopped crying, just pulling comfort from him and now she wants to taste him again. “I suppose a few more minutes won't hurt though,” he says with a smirk, already knowing her mind.

She kisses him, gentle and sweet and revels in his smile once again. Ben gives her barely a moment to savor it before he’s kissing her, gentle and sweet morphing into something else entirely when his tongue flicks out against her lower lip once, twice, entering her mouth when she opens to him. She bites down gently and he groans and the kiss changes again. She feels the heavy weight of his hands against her, around her, her own twist wrinkles into his soft black undershirt wanting to hold him close, pull him closer, but Ben. _Ben._

He is trembling but sure, left hand creeping around the back of her neck once more, pushing up into her hair while his right hand settles against the side of her throat, thumb pressing against her chin, index finger across her cheek. She feels like he’s devouring her whole and she wants nothing more, except to maybe devour him too. So her hands roam free, up through the narrow space between his arms and she anchors herself to him with her fingers tangled up within his hair.

Ben pulls away from her with his teeth around her lower lip making her whimper, he releases it with a wet pop and presses his forehead against hers once more. Rey opens her eyes, takes in his flushed and bloody cheeks, his kissed bruised lips and heated gaze. She is sure she looks the same. He’s so warm and alive and they made it and all she wants to do is breath him in, soak him up. His heat and his musk and his everything.

“We should really get going,” he says, pulling further away to glance up at the hole in the ceiling. It’s nothing but stars now. He stands, brushing himself off and then holds out his hand.

There is no hesitation as she grips it, there never will be again. She laughs as he pulls her up, feeling almost weightless against his strength.

Together they stumble out of the temple supporting each other, pressed against each other to keep themselves standing, past the guardians, past his knights, until they can climb onto the platform that will lift them to the surface. 

The surface is a mess, but somehow, miraculously both of their ships are still standing.

“Now what?” Rey asks, adrenaline beginning to wear off and exhaustion creep in. “If we take my ship I have to disable the one transmitter, tracking is enabled, it’s how I got the resistance here.”

She feels Ben’s body move as he nods. “Mine doesn’t exactly blend in.”

“Okay.” she slips out from beneath his arm and clambers up into the cockpit. It’s the work of seconds, but once it’s done she peeks out at him with a smile, “All set.”

“I’m flying,” Ben announces, hauling himself up and then frowning down at the interior. “So this might be a small problem.”

Rey smiles and eases out of the cockpit. “Sit.” she instructs, watching him intently as he climbs in, “Here,” she passes him the helmet and while he’s putting it on she slides down into his lap.”

“Rey,” he grunts in surprise, hands finding her waist quickly, more a reaction to her proximity than worry that she will fall anywhere. “This - I can’t see how this will work.”

“Just, give me a minute, we can make this work.” She wriggles in his lap and his grip tightens.

“You need to stop or this _really_ isn’t going to work.”

Rey turns as much as she can to frown at him, but he isn’t looking at her, instead staring at the control panel to his left. “Oh, _oh._ ” She turns back around quickly and ignores everything happening behind her and beneath her, focuses on entering the correct sequence even as Ben’s grip becomes nearly painful. Her relief is palpable when the x-wing starts.

“Can you promise me you’re going to sit still?” Ben grits, pulling her upper body back against his.

Rey releases a startled noise at the sudden movement but nods. She wants to move though, needs to move, his erection is pressing against her leg now and it’s not comfortable, can’t imagine how it feels for him. “I can fly,” she insists when he reaches around to take the yoke.

Ben snorts. “Yeah, I know, but you aren’t now. This is risky enough.” He inhales, and Rey feels his chest expand against her back, then he exhales. “Do you trust me?”

Rey gapes, turns around with a glare this time, ignoring Ben’s grunt of discomfort and then she lifts the helmet from his head so she can stare into his eyes. “Ben,” she begins sounding reproachful. “ _Yes_ , I trust you. With my life,” she finishes with a wry grin and it makes Ben smile again. Quickly she settles the helmet back over his head and turns back around. “Of all of the stupid questions, Solo-”

“Shush,” Ben cuts her off, there's the brief sensation of lips against the back of her neck and then she watches his hands, punching in a new sequence of demands and then they’re in the air.

“Where are we going?” she asks once they’ve broken atmo and are flying through the stars.

There’s nervous energy emanating from Ben and she feels him take another deep breath. “Naboo.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kind of got away from me, so I've upped the chapter count by one, and don't worry, the end of the chapter isn't the end of the scene, it just felt like it was getting to be _a lot_ (though I'm sure some of you will yell at me that it isn't, and I will love you for it.)
> 
> All of my love and thanks to Meritmut and QueenOfCarrotFlowers for looking this over for me.

Ben talks their way onto the planet — she should probably be paying attention, but she’s far too captivated with what she sees spread out beneath them. She’s got her face pressed up against the transparisteel, breath fogging the surface as she takes in the blues and greens and the _beauty_ of it.

Their descent is quick and then Ben has them skimming over the surface of the water towards a structure jutting out into it. It’s just perched there, like something out of a story.

“What is this place?” She asks, very aware that this isn’t a hangar bay and they’re slowing down.

“My grandmother’s ancestral home.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” Ben agrees quietly. He lands a distance from the home and releases the hatch to the ship. The air is warm here, and fragrant. Rey’s legs are stiff, and she’s desperate to stretch her limbs, though she’s sure Ben is worse off. He still helps ease her up off of his lap and she lands as gracefully on the ground as she can and then steps to the side to make room for Ben. Rey doesn’t bother watching his descent, too focused on the structure he means for them to visit and everything around it. She takes a step forward, towards the placid surface of the water, but Ben reaches for her, pulling her focus away from the lake and back towards the house where there is now movement.

“It’s okay,” Ben tells her, moving towards the house, “we’re safe here.”

“Are we?” she asks, watching her feet tamp down blades of grass as they walk. With each step, there’s a burst of scent, earthy and fresh and she wants to lay down in it. Her fingers itch for the saber at her side. 

“I promise.”

Grass gives way to smooth pavement and Rey finally looks back up. The house is even bigger up close and even more lovely. Ben halts them at the base of some steps, and Rey makes eye contact with an older woman. She’s beautiful.

“Hello cousin,” she greets them, her gaze shifting away from Rey to look at Ben. She is smiling, so Rey thinks that at least is something. “It’s about time you came home.” Rey feels Ben begin to tremble, and the woman, Ben’s cousin, takes a few steps back towards the open door, expression still open and happy. “Come on in.”

Rey glances up at Ben and shakes his hand until he looks down at her. “Are you -?”

He manages a weak smile. “I’m okay.”

She was a fool to ever call this place a house, she thinks as they step inside the door. It’s grand and rich and more than Rey has ever seen or even thought to contemplate. She doesn’t belong here, the only thing keeping her here is Ben and his firm grip.

“I’m Pooja Naberrie,” she says with a smile, and Rey is very much aware that this introduction is for her benefit.

Rey smiles, they’re all still lingering just inside the door and Ben is a riot of feelings that she’s trying to ignore so she can focus, but then he surprises her by speaking. “Pooja, this is my Rey, I mean Rey - Rey. She’s, well, my-”

Rey blinks, surprised by the rambling, so uncharacteristic of him and decides to help him out. She cuts him off with a smile leaning into him just a bit, “You were right the first time,” she says, then turns and sticks out her hand for Pooja to shake. “He’s my husband.”

Pooja laughs, delighted and happy at the way Ben’s mouth snaps shut with a clack. She steps closer and takes Rey’s hand. “It is so nice to meet you, Rey. Now come, I’m sure the two of you are aware you’re dreadful messes. Let’s get you cleaned up and into fresh clothes and I’ll see what I can do about dinner.”

Rey takes two steps before she realizes Ben isn’t moving, his firm grip causing her to stagger back towards him. “Ben,” she says, turning around. She doesn’t really want to lose Pooja, afraid of becoming lost in this place, but Ben is looking at her with such unguarded longing and open love that whatever she might have said is lost.

“Rey.” He’s doing that thing again, where he’s just sort of seeming to take her in, all of her. “Did you mean it?”

She kisses him, because she can; because she wants to. “I’m yours and you’re mine.” He doesn’t let her drift far, hands reaching, cupping her face, drawing her back in until Pooja shouts for them and they part.

Ben leads the way, patient as Rey stops every so often to look at paintings of the family or slows down as they pass a window. It’s only when they stop in front of a door that Rey realizes she hasn’t paid attention and will possibly get lost if she goes anywhere alone. 

“Let me know if you need anything before dinner won’t you?”

“Of course,” Ben says with a nod. “Pooja, thank you.”

Pooja’s smile is more subdued now as she nods. “There’s nothing to thank me for, Ben. We’re family.”

They both watch her leave and then they hover in the hall.

“You know,” Ben starts, “the refreshers here all have water.”

“I never-” Rey gasps as he pushes the door open. “People live here,” she blurts before she can think twice about it, but Ben doesn’t seem offended as he ushers her inside. She wants to touch and investigate everything that’s here. She wants to run her hands along the blankets covering the bed, but won’t, not yet, because she’s filthy, and they’re nice. The nicest things she’s ever seen someone use to sleep with. A small part of her wants to touch anyway, because she wants to know what nice things feel like.

The door closes with a quiet finality and it surprises her. She turns, blinking towards Ben, who has let her wander.

“What do you think?” he asks, pushing off of the door and coming towards her. Rey eyes him, gaze lingering on the hole in his shirt. The hole she put there when she killed Kylo Ren.

Rey gestures helplessly around, not sure what to say, before settling on the barest truth of the thing. “It reminds me of what Rose told me about Canto Bight. The excess, when there’s so many who have nothing.”

“It is a lot,” Ben agrees with a nod as he takes in the room, then looks back to her, “but the Naberries are good people, they help where they can, I can promise you that, Rey.”

“I’m not-” she scrunches up her nose and wraps her arms around her body. “I’m not trying to be _rude_ , but I just-”

“You don’t need to explain. I didn’t grow up here. I’ve only met her once, when I was very young, before I knew about my grandparents. Before I knew we were cousins.” Rey has so many questions, but Ben doesn’t give her time to voice any, cutting through her thoughts with a quiet “you can shower first.”

“Oh.” She stills and glances down at the grime that coats her clothes and skin. “Thank you,” she murmurs, edging closer to the door that Ben gestures at. “Can you, um, is it like a sonic?” She asks, not looking at him, even though she knows she has nothing to be embarrassed over.

He hesitates, there on the edge of her peripheral, he sort of rocks, and it makes her feel soft inside because while she knows Ben Solo, she only does through their bond, and not his physical presence, so far removed from Kylo Ren. “I’ll show you?”

She smiles, a small thing, and nods. “Please.”

For as vast as the bedroom is, the bathroom seems small, or maybe it’s just Ben that makes the space feel that way. She watches him intently as he explains what buttons do what. It’s mostly the same as a sonic, but with a few extra things since it pumps out water. Hot or cold. She wants it as hot as it will go, wants to burn the memories of Exegol from her skin rub her skin red and raw and then do it all again because it won’t be enough. 

She died and it lingers beneath her tongue, beneath the surface of her skin. “Don’t go,” she blurts when Ben moves to go around her, to give her privacy. Steam is filling the room and it feels wonderful but, “I don’t want to be alone.”

She looks at him then, begs him to understand her need, but she worries for nothing, because Ben will always understand, the other half of her soul needs no extra words from her to know.

“Can I?” Ben asks, reaching for her hand and Rey relents. 

“Yes,” she breathes placing her hand in his and watching as his fingers dip beneath the cloth that wraps around her forearm, searching for the end, and then he begins to unravel it, unravel her.

Ben is focused and methodical, moving to the wraps on her right arm even as the other flutters to the floor. Rey can’t stop watching him. “This?” he asks, large fingers walking up her arm to brush against the leather band she’s kept wrapped there since the first time they fought as one. She hesitates for a moment, teeth nibbling at her bottom lip and then she nods. It’s off in seconds, his thumb flicking the closure open and it falls with a small noise to the floor and she exhales shakily. No one has seen this part of her since Crait.

Rey shudders when his thumb traces the lines of the scar, blinks back tears when he leans down to kiss it.

“Why is it still there?” she asks, whispers barely heard over the pounding of water on tile. Her left-hand reaches out, her own fingertips dipping into the hole of his shirt, pressing against the flesh there. Smooth and unmarked by her killing blow. “Why? When I-?”

“You healed me,” Ben tells her, mouth still lingering on her arm. “While I did heal you, in a way, it was more of me calling you back to me.” Another kiss and then his hands wander, down over her abdomen to where he had been pressed so desperately to heal her, only now his fingers reach for her belt.

He strips her, piece by piece, layer by layer until she’s left in her underclothes and her hair falls loose over her shoulders. “Now you,” she tells him, enjoying the way his blush deepens as she presses both palms under his shirt, pushing it up and up until together they lift it over his head. He gets his boots off while she works at his belt and then she pauses, looking back up at him as her fingers begin undoing his pants and a moment later he’s as naked as she is.

“We don’t-” he starts, but she’s already unwinding her breast bindings and he never finishes what he was going to say. A tiny part of her feels smug, that she could silence him this way, but then he removes his final layer and realizes he can do the same to her.

He’s beautiful, she says as much out loud, a revenant whisper that makes him refuse to meet her gaze, and she only draws it back when she pushes down her underwear, kicking it off with her toe to a corner of the bathroom.

They stare at one another, Rey watches the way his chest rises and falls, the way his cock stirs within the dark thatch of hair between his legs, the way his muscles twitch almost as if he’s ready to run. Rey feels her nipples tighten at his unwavering attention, feels her body thrum with desires she’s long since buried beneath the Jakku sun. She wants to touch him. All of him. Never stop touching him. Wants him to be touching her again, and so she reaches out for him, hand upturned and voice rough and desperate as his had been when she left him all those turns ago. “Please.”

She whimpers when his large hand engulfs her, gasps when the water hits her skin as Ben backs her into the shower. It’s hot. Perfectly so, and she tips her head back to savor it, to wet her hair, to start the process of becoming clean again.

Ben kisses the tender exposed skin of her throat, his hands roaming over her slick skin, over the curve of her hip and up the expanse of her back, pulling her closer until she’s flush with him. He makes a rumbling noise in his throat that she feels reverberate in his chest when his length nestles between their stomachs. 

“Can I touch you?” she asks, hands fluttering, brushing gently but never fully landing.

Ben pulls back from her neck and she smiles at him, the way the water has plastered his hair to his head, the way she can see the tips of his ears. “Never stop,” he rasps.

He’s hot from the water, from the blood pumping through his veins and Rey revels in his heat, how smooth his skin is to the touch even as it stretches over corded muscle.

She drags her thumbs over his collarbones, down over his chest and watches him as he does nearly the same to her, fingertips braced on her chest, right at the curve of her breasts and she wants to know what it would feel like to be touched there by someone else. With hands larger and more calloused than her own. She knows she could ask, could tell him it’s okay, but she likes this. This gentle careful exploration here and now after everything they’ve been through together. “I’ve never-”

“Me either,” he answers with a shake of his head and a small half-smile that reaches his eyes and lights up his face.

“I want to.”

“Me too.”

So he does, palms covering her and she arches into his touch. Ben takes his time learning her and Rey does the same, though for now, her hands stay firmly above his beltline and so do his.

It’s nothing like she ever thought it would be, being naked in front of someone else, being touched by hands that aren’t hers. She closes her eyes and Ben angles her head, thumbs brushing gently over her wounds, carefully easing off the blood that has dried there. When his lips press against it she feels tears escape her eyes again.

“Tomorrow,” he says, lips moving over her flesh, “I can fix this tomorrow.”

“I’ll be okay,” she assures him, pulling back and managing to muster a smile. “I will,” she insists when he moves to protest. “I’ll be okay Ben, you’re here with me and I’ll be okay, we both will.” His chin quivers and she pulls his hands away from her face, taking the time to gently clean his bruised and bloody knuckles before peppering kisses across them.

“I love you, you know,” she tells him, glancing up from his hand, breath fanning out over his skin there and Ben makes a quiet noise, amplified by the small space they’re in.

She doesn’t ever remember saying these words to anyone but knows they’re true here and now. Perhaps it should feel grander, or not happen during a shower, but the weight of the words is light as she frees them. 

“I do,” he answers, hand twisting in hers, they’re still pressed intimately together, but it doesn't stop Ben from trying to pull her closer. “I love you too.” He smiles and Rey can’t help it, the way she releases him to let her hands reach to touch, thumb brushing at the corner of his mouth, right by that one tooth that’s just a little _off_ compared to the rest, sharp-looking and endearing next to the dimples she never knew he had until today. She wants to know what it would feel like against her lip, her tongue, scraping over the taut bud of her nipple. 

Ben’s thumb arcs over her and she gasps. “You’re very loud,” he teases and Rey huffs an amused noise. 

“Should I be quieter?” She asks, teasing, hands drifting down, because as loud as her thoughts are, his reverberate with the same frequency.

“No,” he gasps as her thumb brushes the side of his length.

“Teach me.” Ben groans at her words, presses further into her until her back hits the cool wall of the fresher. She gets her thumb and index fingers around the tip of him and then he’s kissing her.

This is needy and desperate in a way their kisses in the depths of the temple were not. That was ‘ _we’re alive,’_ and this, this is -

Rey has watched holovids that didn’t have kissing quite this sloppy, but she likes it. There’s fight in it, in their mutual inexperience. She’s not trying to win anything, is sure he isn’t either, but it still reminds her of it. Of the way, they’re matched, of their give and take, but this is far more rewarding than any spar. The weight of him against her, the feel of his callouses against her flesh as he teases and strokes her breasts. 

“Ben,” she gasps as he draws away from her mouth to kiss and lick at her neck and then lower until his full lips close around one nipple. Belatedly she recognizes _she_ is the one making those noises that reverberate through the room a moment later realizes her hand is still limply wrapped around his cock, so she squeezes, making him groan. “Teach me,” she moans again, getting a better grip on his girth. Ben pulls back with a lewd ‘pop’ and glances down between their bodies.

“Like this,” he instructs, wrapping his larger hand around hers and Rey watches his eyes flutter shut. He starts slow, adjusts his grip around her hand and she feels his thumb shift up and she glances down to watch him pass it over the slit of his cock and he hisses a little. For a moment she worries it isn’t a sound of pleasure, but then she looks at his face again his eyes open and they’re dark, pupils so wide she can barely make out the true color them. His pace increases and he doesn’t look away from her as he presses their foreheads together. Ben’s free hand is still on her chest, frozen there and she wriggles slightly, humming when he pinches her lightly. Rey’s free hand lays low on his waist, thumb dragging slowly back and forth along the crease between his thigh and hip, at odds with the increasing pace he’s establishing.

His breathing is ragged but other than that he’s quiet. “Does it feel good?” Rey whispers, and he breaks, groaning loudly and she gasps as splashes of heat land on her stomach.

“ _Kriff_ ,” he swears, expression open and wrecked. He loosens his grip over them both and Rey lets her hand fall from him as she looks down the length of her body. “Kriff,” he says again, voice deeper and rougher and she watches as his trembling hand lifts, pushes his spend across her stomach.

“Rey,” he gasps, “Rey.” She looks up and he pushes his hand up further until his messy hand covers her other breast. He bends to kiss her and she smiles into it, letting her hands roam over the expanse of his back. He pulls her back under the spray, and she shivers at the heat. It feels so good. Ben’s thumb passes over her belly button and Rey wriggles against him, laughing quietly at the sensation.

“You’re ticklish,” Ben observes with wonder and Rey hisses a little at him, but that only makes him laugh. Rey blinks and Ben blushes, ducking his head and moving his hand lower. Rey doesn’t say anything else but settles against him thinking that as wonderful as Ben Solo’s smile is, his laugh is even better, and he deserved to do them both every day. She feels him shift, press a lingering kiss to her wet hair even as his fingers move through the thatch of curls at the apex of her thighs.

“Rey?” He asks and she hums in answer, “will you teach me now?”


	3. Chapter 3

“Oh,” she gasps, “yes.” Rey watches him, face turned down to watch the progress of his hand. She smiles at his look of concentration as he explores. She shifts her stance wider, and then his fingers drip lower, pass gently over her clit, through her folds and back up again. She shudders against him.

Ben looks up at her in wonder. “You’re wet.”

“That’s a good thing, here.” She grasps his wrist, pushes him back down and covers his hand with her own, as he had done for her. “Your hands are big,” she says, rolls her eyes when he smirks, “so start with one finger, then add another if it seems—” the rest of her sentence is lost in a breathless inhale as he presses a finger inside of her while she keeps the back of his hand cupped against hers.

“ _Kriff_ ,” he swears, and his head falls against her shoulder. “You’re so hot,” he whines, and Rey grunts, rocking into his hand. It takes him a moment, and her urgent whispered ‘move’ before he does, drawing his finger out, dragging it against her front wall, forcing her to adjust her grip on him, pressing the heel of his hand against her clit. She explains, as best she can between moans and whimpers what she also wants him touching, and he pulls back to try and observe, but the angle is all wrong for that, so right for everything else.

“Kiss me,” she insists, wrapping an arm around his neck and dragging him down to where she wants him. When he adds a second finger, gently, carefully, Rey bites down hard on his lip, smothering her moan. It feels good, full in a way that still has her wanting more. His motions become less exploratory and more deliberate as he makes note of the things that garner a reaction from her. He shifts his hand, thumb searching for the spot he had been pressed against, and Rey moves it when he comes down beside it.

“There,” she tells him, and he nods before kissing her again. Rey lifts a leg, anchors herself around his hip and clings to him. She can feel it building, knows it won't be long until her body succumbs and throws her headlong into bliss. Even over the noise of the shower, she can hear the soft wet noises coming from her as Ben presses into her. It’s never been like this before. Ben’s other hand finally moves, roaming back up her body, fingers stopping over her breast, thumb rubbing slow circles around her nipple and she grunts. He’s quick, index finger sliding over and he pinches her there, gently at first and when she moans he does it harder and she falls apart around him, head falling back. She has enough wherewithal to cover her mouth, biting into her palm to smother her scream, and then she sags against him.

Ben is still moving, pace gentled, but still constant. “Stop, stop,” she whimpers, pulling his hand away from her core, thankful that at some point he had anchored his arm around her, because her legs are trembling and feel useless.

“Did I - did you?” he asks in wonder, and she nods frantically against him, laughing into their next kiss as he holds her close. “You’re beautiful,” he tells her, whispered against the shell of her ear and she wraps her arms around him, presses her face to the side of her neck and tells herself she won’t cry.

“I love you, Rey,” he murmurs against her soaked hair, arms solid around her, hands soothing where they touch. 

“I love you too,” she responds, voice only holding the slightest tremor of the hint of tears. 

“I wanna do that again,” he declares, and that at least makes her laugh.

“We should maybe wait until later. Your cousin—”

Ben blinks in surprise and then nods. “Please don’t tell her, but I kind of forgot she was waiting for us.”

Rey laughs again and then moans when Ben’s hands begin massaging her scalp. A fresh and light scent filling the shower, and Rey, body already sufficiently relaxed from her orgasm, feels herself relax even more.

“It’s the Millaflower,” Ben informs her as he works. “It’s native to the planet, they’re beautiful, but give off a calming scent. There’s a ton of uses for them, some not so innocent.”

“It’s nice,” she observes, eyes closed and enjoying his attention. 

“It is,” he answers, rinsing her hair. He attempts to resist when she offers to do the same for him, but relents easily enough, grumbling about the lack of seat in the shower. Rey doesn’t care, she’s climbed ships bigger than Ben Solo, she can manage to climb him too.

“This is ridiculous,” he grunts after several slippery minutes, but Rey is on his back, legs wound around him while he holds her in place.

“It’s nice,” she retorts, enjoying the scent and watching the way the soap bubbles and coats his hair. She takes her time, until Ben gets restless, and then she slips down his back and watches him rinse off.

“Are you hungry?” he asks, wrapping her up in a fluffy robe after they step out from the stall.

“I could eat,” she tells him noncommittally, but she doesn’t remember the last thing she ate. Did she eat anything on Pasaana, or after? So much happened in a day. Ben hums, eyeing her critically and her stomach takes the opportunity to growl. 

He chuckles, “you could eat, huh?” 

In the room, there are clothes laid out on the bed, and Rey finally lets her fingers touch the sheets before trailing over the brocade of the dress clearly meant for her. Ben quickly slips into the loose pair of grey pants laid out, then throws the black shirt over his head, all while Rey stands there and watches him. It feels novel, like if she blinks it will all slip away, that the last few hours since waking up to find Ben alive and whole will all be a dream, because watching the former Supreme Leader get dressed and be standing on a plush carpet in bare feet feels surreal. 

When he finally looks back up at her, she blushes at being caught, and then quickly shoves out of the robe. It takes her a minute, to shift the fabric around, and Ben to his credit remains silent until the dress is over her head and covering her.

“Do you want me to tie it?” he asks, voice quiet, and Rey turns to glance down at the series of delicate-looking strings that run along the back of the dress.

“Please,” she affirms with a nod, turning her back on him and pulling her hair over her shoulder. It doesn’t take him long, deft fingers working quickly to secure the dress until it’s hugging her comfortably and she doesn’t feel like she will be wandering around this veritable palace basically naked with some loose fabric just covering her.

Ben’s hands sweep up to her hair, linger there for a moment and then drop away. “Later,” he begins as she turns to face him, winding her hair up in a bun and securing it with a tie she had retrieved from the ‘fresher before they left. “Later, would you let me braid it?”

The word _yes_ is on the tip of her tongue, she’s ready to blurt it, but the way he’s asked, like there’s an extreme weight behind them gives her pause. “Yes, but only if you teach me,” she barters, “and let me braid yours too.” She thinks it’s probably a silly request, but the way he blushes a deeper red than he did when he came all over her stomach makes her realize that it isn’t.

“Later,” he repeats and she smiles. Ben nods, decided in something, and takes her hand. “I’ll teach you.”

“You two look refreshed,” Pooja greets them as they step off of the last stair. “Less like death,” she teases, and Rey sees Ben grin, but there’s no way she could know, how close they both were, how actually dead Rey was.

“Come,” she gestures. “I didn’t know what all you liked, so I had a few things made.”

A few things, Rey finds out as they step into a room reserved only for eating, is enough food to feed possibly half of the resistance. Rey follows Ben’s lead, even though the girl she used to be demands she grab it all, take and fill herself to an uncomfortable level because food, portions, aren’t always guaranteed. Ben takes his time filling his plate, picking some dishes and skipping others, but Rey wants to try it all, only familiar with two dishes on the table.

It’s quiet, almost tense, but Rey focuses on eating, taking her time now to savor each bite.

“I promise you’re both safe here, but if you don’t mind my asking,” Pooja interrupts the quiet, smiling gently when both Rey and Ben turn to look at her. “What happened? Is the First Order gone?” She hesitates, then turns to look at Ben. “Your mother sent me an encoded message hours ago, but I didn’t think I would see you so soon, will she be following?”

Ben’s utensils clatter to the plate as he stares at his cousin in shock. “My mother?”

“Yes, of course,” Pooja says with a frown now. “We had an agreement, long ago, shortly after the news of her heritage broke and you...well. She never gave up on you Ben, she wanted to be sure you had somewhere safe to go if you ever got yourself free.”

“No.” Ben shakes his head, “that can’t be it, I had Lando send a message.”

“Lando?” Rey and Pooja ask together.

“Yes,” he speaks slowly. “I- before I went back to Exegol, I found him. He had always promised- it doesn’t matter now, but I didn’t have a weapon, so I got one from him, and told him to get a message to you.”

“I never got anything, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Ben sags in the chair with a sigh. “My mother won’t be coming.”

There’s a beat, heavy and filled with things left unsaid and then Pooja blinks rapidly. “I see. I’m so sorry, Ben.”

Rey can sense the grief in him, turbulent and roiling like the sea of Kef Bir, and she reaches out without moving, brushing gently against him through the Force and he blinks, smiles gently at her and she feels him reciprocate as he mutters, “Yeah, me too.”

And then the conversation moves on, silted and raw and then the whole sordid tale comes out, a brief version, because even just touching on the main points isn’t truly a conversation one should have while eating.

“The Senator?” Pooja interrupts at one point when Ben finally broaches the subject of Palpatine.

“The Senator?” Rey echoes, knuckles going white around her utensils.

“Yes, he was, well, it was a very long time ago, he worked with Padme, Ben’s grandmother, they were both from here.”

“From Naboo?” Rey’s voice is high pitched and thready and Pooja frowns, reaching a hand out for her, but she doesn’t touch.

“Are you all right, Rey?” Rey’s head jerks in a sort of affirmation.

“Fine,” she answers, mustering a smile, “just surprised, that’s all.”

There’s hesitation there, Rey can sense it, as well as she can sense Ben and his desire to hold her, to assuage all of her doubts and fears. Whatever Pooja might have said next is cut off by Ben who confirms that as far as he is aware the First Order still exists, though in what capacity of organization he doesn’t know.

Later she sits on the bed, knees tucked up against her chest and she holds them there, while Ben’s legs bracket her. She takes solace in his presence, solid and real and warm as he runs his fingers through her hair.

“I spent most of my life running away from who I was, and towards who I thought I should be, who I thought Vader would have wanted me to be. I won’t ever know what my life would have looked like if I hadn’t been poisoned from the start. When I was little I wanted to be a pilot like my dad, but maybe I would have followed in my mother's footsteps and gone into politics.”

“You don’t seem like you have the disposition for politics,” Rey mutters against her knees.

Ben laughs. “I never said I’d be _good_ at it.” He falls silent and Rey focuses on the gentle tugs against her scalp. “Maybe I’d be a Jedi, though I don’t think I’d be too great at that either, at least not in the traditional sense.”

“Why not?” Rey asks, letting him gently turn her head as he needs.

“Did you even read any of those books you stole from Ahch-To?” She can hear the amusement in his voice. “Though I’m sure they never accounted for a dyad in the force.” He sighs and continues on. “Maybe I would have eventually taught.”

“You still could,” she offers and feels his fingers still in their work. “Not right now, but maybe one day, and not Jedi, right?” she asks, “even Luke thought their time was over, and you had wanted to start something new.”

“Maybe,” he eventually concedes, fingers picking their rhythm back up. “I was trying to make a point,” he tells her and she laughs quietly. “I don’t think I’m making it well. The _point_ is, Rey, is that it doesn’t matter. You know where you came from now, and I know what you’re feeling, to find out the weight of something like that.”

“It broke you.”

“In a way, but I won’t let it break you, Rey. He’s gone, and we’re the only two people in the galaxy who know. He shouldn’t have even been alive, and while it’s _possible_ he was manipulating us both at the end—”

“No. Well, he was, but he wasn’t lying about it I don’t think, though nothing makes sense anymore. It doesn’t make sense, does it? That he was able to find you, hurt you, but not me?” She sighs. “I’ve spent my whole life being no one, and I was _fine_ with that, I just wanted to know my parents.”

“And now?” Ben asks, tucking in the end of her braid, then lifting her, shifting his legs and arranging them so he’s leaning back against the headboard and she’s settled across his thighs.

Her hands reach up and trace the intricate braids. She wants to run to the closest mirror and look at them, but first, she leans into Ben. “Remember when you told me to let the past die?” Ben nods, gaze intense. “I’m ready to do that.”

“Rey,” Ben begins, “that was about—”

“No, I know, this isn’t about that. This is about me.” She doesn’t know how to articulate it in words so that it won’t come out stilted and awkward, so she presses against his chest and opens herself to him.

She has always taken the things she’s wanted, though she didn’t always keep them, trading them for portions and portions for drinking water. This though, this she intends to keep, just like the man attached to it.

He doesn’t answer her with words, but he doesn’t have too. She feels his joy radiate like sunlight across their bond. His hand trembles as he pulls her from his chest and his eyes shine with emotion and he smiles again.

Rey traces it with her fingertips. “It’s a little ironic,” he says against her fingers. “Two people that share a soul, that won’t ever be alone, to have the last name Solo.”

“I love you,” she hums, moving her hand to cup his cheek. 

Their lips meet in a short kiss, and Rey huffs in surprise as Ben shifts them yet again until they’re laying next to one another. His kisses are languid and sweet and _oh_ , she loves him. At some point his shirt comes off, and Rey grins against his mouth at the feel of his flesh beneath her palms. She won’t ever get tired of this, of having this gift; of being able to touch him, have him, after everything.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this one folks! I was working on my fic for the charity anthology, but now we're back on schedule!
> 
> Thanks for your patience and all of your love and support for this fic.

She wonders if the water is warm or if it is as cold as the waters beneath Ahch-To while she stares out her window at the lake as it sits still, reflecting the night time sky. She can’t sleep even though she is exhausted, is almost afraid of it. In some part of her mind she knows she is fine, that when the morning sunlight comes streaming through the window she will wake, but all she can think about, again, is how she was dead not even an entire day ago and maybe this is all a dream. The gentle steady breathing of Ben on the bed behind her, the supple fabric of the gown she’s encased in (this one specifically for sleeping), stomach full from a decadent dinner. She reasons that it must be real and true because a lonely scavenger from Jakku could never dream up such luxuries.

There is peace here though. A peace that she has never felt before. She doesn’t know if it’s this place, if it’s Ben, if it’s a combination of things, but the anger she had been harboring for so long, that had reached its boiling point over the last few days, is absent now. She presses her hand against the window, watches the space around her fingers condensate from the temperature difference. This is real. 

“Rey,” Ben’s sleepy voice calls to her, and she turns to find him propped up on a forearm looking over at her, hair mussed and expression confused. She is sure the last thing he remembers is kissing her. She smiles gently at him, at the memory of his lips on her neck, his breath turning into snores. Now he rubs the sleep from his eyes and studies her silently. “What are you doing? Come to bed.”

“I can’t sleep,” she tells him, tiptoeing across the carpet until she can clamber up into the luxurious thing that passes for a bed here. Ben pulls the blankets back and he watches her slide beneath them.

“Talk to me,” he offers on a yawn, pulling her closer, shifting across the bed to take her back into his arms, where she had been. “Or let me help you.”

“Help me how?” she asks, not understanding until he begins to pull at the fabric of her sleeping gown. “Oh. Yes.” She tries to help, but there’s so much of it she growls. “How do people sleep like this?” She huffs, lifting her hips and pulling.

Ben chuckles and moves, pinning her body with his own. “Stay still, sweetheart.”

It’s the endearment, more than the request that gets her to still. Slowly he pushes the fabric up, watching her face. He looks tired but happy, and when his fingers brush against the tops of her thighs she jolts at the sensation.

“Are you okay?” Ben asks, freezing.

“Yes,” she nods, “just tickles,” she tells him, and the smile he gives is lopsided and teasing and she laughs when he does it again. His fingers work at the buttons keeping everything in place, and then she’s sitting up as he pulls everything up and over her head. She blinks when it thuds to the floor.

“Far too much fabric,” he agrees, catching her stray thoughts, but his gaze is intense where it’s focused on her chest, highlighted in the silver-blue moonlight. “You’re beautiful, he whispers reverently, large hand reaching out, settling at her side so his thumb can brush over her breast. Ben licks his lips, and Rey feels her body reacting to his touch, the way her nipple tightens, the way she begins to _want._

He doesn’t need to say pretty things to her, though she appreciates it all the same. She will want him even if he says nothing. She has spent her whole life waiting and wanting and now she is here and knows he can satiate her hunger, her need. He glances up with another smile.

“Will you let me do something?” He whispers, hand abandoning her chest to stroke a broad path up to her neck, fingertips brushing her ear.

“Anything,” she answers him and knows it’s true. She trusts Ben, knows he would never hurt her, not now, not anymore, and she won’t hurt him either.

“I want this down,” he informs her, touching her hair.

Rey pouts, but sits up more, turns on the mattress. “You just did it though. It was pretty.”

“And I’ll do it again and again, every day if you wish, but I— I always dreamed, always hoped one day I could. For a long time, it seemed so far out of reach.” Then, stilted and quiet he explains more of the traditions his mother taught him from a home that no longer existed. She told him as long as she lived, as long as he lived, Alderaan lived on.

Rey shudders an exhale and nods, paying careful attention to the slow way he undoes all of his work. And it feels more intimate than anything she’s ever experienced before. Even more intimate than them washing each other beneath the water, because this has weight, this has a history, and she’s already been stripped bare, but now she feels open and exposed.

“I don’t have any traditions,” she offers into the quiet of the night. All she’s done is survive and hope and fight to live and scratching marks on a wall isn’t a good tradition to pass on. _Look how long I’ve been alone_ it screams, _look how long I’ve waited_. She has nothing to pass on, to share.

“We can share mine,” Ben whispers, running his fingers through her now loose tresses, pressing a kiss to her naked shoulder.

“I would like that,” she whispers, turning to catch his mouth with a kiss. 

When he lays her back out on the bed she watches him, feels the slight tremor in his touch. Can feel the hint of nervousness through the bond.

“I’ve never done this before,” he sighs against the skin of her stomach, “but I want to try.”

Her fingers catch in the ends of his hair as he kisses her belly button and then lays a trail of them down and down and Rey inhales deeply, letting her legs fall open for him. She has never, but then again, neither has he, so she watches him, as he stares intently at her core, instead of staring at the canopy above the bed. She is still touching his hair, shifts and trails her fingers over his cheekbones.

Rey opens her mouth, to tell him it’s okay, that he doesn’t have to do anything, but the sound that escapes her lips is a startled, strangled gasp as he presses a kiss to her there. It’s bold and uninhibited and _Ben._ He kisses her again, lingering, and it’s weird but nice and she doesn’t hate it, she’s pretty sure. Then he wedges a shoulder beneath her thigh, pushing it up, pushing it wider, making space for his broad frame. Rey lets her hands fall to her sides, so she isn’t in his way. A sloppy, open-mouthed kiss comes next, his nose buried in her pubic hair, and she thinks if she shifts she could make it bump against her clit, but she fists the sheets instead.

The warm heat of his tongue licks a broad stripe up her slit and Rey gasps as she feels it split her, enter her, gently prodding. It’s different from her fingers. The thickness of his fingers. It’s foreign and strange but good too. She lets him explore her with his mouth as she watches him. His fingertips are pressed into the flesh of her thighs, holding her to him and she can feel a blush working it’s way up her chest as the sounds coming from her, from him, feels herself grow increasingly wetter, feels her essence drip down between the cheeks of her ass and dampen the sheets beneath them.

The firm tip of his tongue flicks over her clit and she yelps his name, hands scrabbling for his, for his hair, anything, she just wants to touch him. Assure herself he is here with her. His left hand releases her, and tangles with her fingers. Her body jerks against his mouth when he does it again. She decides she might like this. There’s no finesse to his movements, but he learns her body this way too, letting her sounds guide him and it all feels good. 

“Ben,” she whispers, grip tightening on the hand holding his, “Ben, please, I need —” she sobs, body wound right with what he’s been doing to her, but it isn’t enough. “I need more,”

And he grasps the thought she can’t articulate because his lips are wrapped around her clit now. She feels a finger slip easily into her and she bites down on her lip, to stifle the noise that would probably be loud enough to rouse Pooja. Another finger and he curls them against her, the way he had in the shower, his mouth doesn’t relent and it takes seconds for her legs to clamp around his head as she trembles, back arching off of the mattress. Her mouth is open with a silent scream, and tears of pleasure are leaking from her eyes.

Ben’s mouth is still on her, gentle laps from his tongue, his wet fingers streak across her stomach and her body keeps shaking as she tries to catch her breath.

“I love you,” she sighs, whimpering a bit. She feels like she might come again, whispers those words out loud and Ben answers with a groan. The noises coming from his mouth on her are almost embarrassingly wet sounding, but Rey watches Ben nuzzle closer lower, and his nose presses against her and she gasps. _It’s too much_ , she wants to tell him, but another part of her doesn’t want it to end, wants to keep him between her thighs until she passes out with pleasure. Her next orgasm is quiet, creeping up on her, washing over her gently and she feels him groan against her more than she hears it, and she cards her fingers through his hair as she drags air into her lungs. 

Rey pushes gently at him when he stays down there, still licking and kissing and sucking and it’s all too much., then opts to tug at his hair, pulling him up her body until he can collapse onto her as she kisses him. She tastes herself there on his lips. The way they taste together, she wants more of it. 

“I’ll be right back,” he eventually says, pulling back from her and she frowns, reaching for him, not wanting him to go.

“What about you?” She asks, sitting up with him.

He coughs and blushes, turning away from her. “I, uh, I’m fine.”

“But—” the word tumbles free and then she sees it all, feels it all. The pleasure he found in her pleasure, and his awkward little shuffle towards the bathroom makes more sense. She lets him go, settling herself back beneath the blankets, turning so she can watch for him. He comes out of the bathroom blushing and naked, but she’s still naked too, so this time she lifts the covers for him.

Ben is warm as she snuggles up to him, tucking her body against the solid frame of him. She presses a kiss to her sternum, and he answers with one against her head. Soon she will fall asleep, they both will. Her first sleep since Exegol, since dying. She doesn’t know how she’s forced herself to stay awake this long, because now, in the heady warmth and afterglow of the things they did together her body feels like it’s melting into Ben’s, and she’s so, so tired.

“Sleep, Rey. As long as you need. The galaxy can wait. I’ll be here.” She presses closer to him, an impossible task, but she tries anyway. Ben’s arms tighten around her. “Sleep, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/hellomelusine)


	5. Chapter 5

Rey is in a dress. Pooja insists it isn’t a dress, because there are sleek brown leggings beneath the dress, and said dress only falls down to her knees and wraps around her body, held together with delicate looking laces up the front (which the person who was supposed to help her dress until Rey dismissed them because she’s been dressing herself her whole life, had politely informed her it was called a _bodice_ ), but it’s still a dress. She likes the boots though, even if they’re slightly big. Ben catches her glancing down at them as they walk. They match the leggings perfectly, almost looking as if they’re one piece. The dress itself is comfortable at least, far less fabric than the gown they tried to get her to sleep in. It’s a dark shade of green and had rendered Ben speechless when he saw her in it, so she thinks she might keep it.

“Not much farther,” he tells her, swinging his arm out to catch her hand. His other is holding a basket, filled to nearly overflowing with food and drink. 

A picnic, Pooja had called it, sending them out the door with a smile, and seemingly not a care in the galaxy.

They had slept for over a day, waking in the afternoon of their third day on Naboo to sunlight, and no impending doom. Rey had lingered beneath the blankets, letting the sun warm her exposed skin as she watched the steady rise and fall of Ben’s chest and reveled in his attention when he had finally stirred into wakefulness.

She isn’t confident Ben actually knows where he’s going, but doesn’t care where they end up because it’s all been beautiful so far. 

“Here,” Ben says as they crest a hill, turning just slightly to look at her. Rey gasps. It’s a field full of tiny wildflowers. “Do you like it?” He asks, sounding almost shy.

“I love it,” she tells him firmly, looking up at him in time to catch the little dimple that appears when he really smiles.

“Come on.” He tugs gently at her hand and they descend into the field. Ben set the basket down and lifts the lid, pulling an extravagant blanket from within. Rey watches in mixed bemusement and horror as he spreads it across the grass. “Can you help instead of just watching me work?”

“Sorry,” she jumps, reaching for a corner. “You’re really going to put this on the ground?” She asks, rubbing the decadent fabric between her fingers.

“It’s a picnic blanket. This is what it’s made for,” he explains with a light tone as Rey finally cooperates. “Now sit,” he instructs before she can ask anything else once it’s evenly spread out.

She plops down with little grace and looks up at him. He’s also been dressed by Pooja. A fine grey shirt, long sleeves but light enough for the heat of the day, and a black pair of pants. Almost identical to every other pair of pants she has ever seen him in, only these have a fine pattern stitched into them in matching black. Leaves and vines and Rey wants to be closer to really look at them. Maybe later.

Ben hands her a glass and then another one. “We have wine if you want to try it,” he offers, showing her the bottle.

“Is it any good?” She asks, curious, leaning forward, the glasses tinking together at her movement. He shrugs in an offhand way. “Just a little.” She holds out the glasses and watches Ben uncork the bottle. It’s brilliant green when he pours it and she laughs a little in delight.

He places the bottle carefully back in the basket and sits down across for her, taking the glass she offers.

Rey lifts the glass while Ben sits, a contemplating look on his face. “I feel like I should say something,” he says and Rey takes a sip. 

“Why?” She asks, smacking her lips together, determining how she feels about the taste.

“It’s what people do, raise a toast.” He hefts the glass showing her and scoots closer. “To us,” he says simply.

Rey smiles a little, humors him when he gestures for her to tap her glass against his. “Is this another tradition?” She asks, voice a conspiratory whisper, even though they’re both completely alone out here.

He nods with another smile. “Yes, though lots of beings practice it.”

“So you just say what you want and then do the —” she repeats the gesture they just did with her glass alone and Ben nods. “So I could toast to your mouth?” she asks, and he laughs.

“If you really wanted to.”

She hums as if mulling it over. “Well, I really like it.” Ben blushes now, looking away from her, so she scoots over until she can touch him, free hand on his cheek, tilting his face towards hers. “To your mouth,” she whispers with a grin, holding the glass up until he taps his gently against hers. She downs the last small sip of the wine watches him do the same and then she is on him.

Ben catches her, just like she knows he always will, and he quickly places their glasses a safe distance away with a muffled laugh against her mouth. It’s playful and unpracticed still, but when she slips forward on his lap, and his hands come up around her she gasps at the way his chest presses against hers and she pulls back. He’s smiling again, just a small thing that tilts up the right corner of his mouth and the way he looks at her, like she’s the only thing that exists, like she’s precious and like he doesn’t quite believe she’s real overwhelms her. 

Her fingers slip into the collar of his shirt as she blushes beneath his scrutiny. “You have freckles,” he whispers, and she can’t help the breathless laugh that escapes, but is quickly quieted when his hand comes up and gently caresses the bridge of her nose.

She crinkles it beneath his touch just to make him smile again and lets him touch, fingertips running over her cheek and chin and forehead, tucking hair behind her ears before trailing down over the side of her neck. 

When he kisses her, she sinks into it. It’s reverent and tender, and perfect. Rey slinks her fingers beneath his shirt, splaying them out over his abdomen, exhaling a laugh in a breath against his lips when she feels his skin ripple beneath her touch.

“Does it tickle?” she asks, pulling only far enough away to speak. The only answer she gets is a gentle bite at her lower lip. They’re getting better at this whole kissing thing, she thinks as his tongue slips into her mouth, teases at her own until she answers. He doesn’t even look, as he lets down her hair this time, busy kissing her until they’re breathless. Rey tugs at his shirt, gets it over his head with his help and drops it behind her.

“Rey.” Ben practically purrs her name, and she shivers against him. Her hands drag down his chest and she hums, glancing up at him finally. “I-” he chokes on the word as her mouth presses against his throat over his Adam’s Apple, licking it, then nipping at his skin.

“Ben,” she moans against him, “yes.”

A whole basket of food, and she’s only hungry for Ben. Ben who is now fumbling with the laces of her boots so he can slip them from her while she keeps distracting him with bruising kisses across his chest.

Her boots are off and Ben slips the leggings and her underwear off shortly after, pushing her up to her knees and pulling them off one leg at a time. They land on top of her boots as he pulls her back into his lap. Rey’s hands slip between them, fingers toying with the fasteners on his pants while Ben's hands slowly drift up her legs, warm over her naked skin. She kisses him until the skirt of her dress is pooled in her lap, the flesh of her thighs exposed.

Thick digits disappear beneath the fabric and brush over her folds hesitant and still fumbling, but she nods in encouragement. Rey bites down on her lip with a quiet mewl as she feels him finally slip inside of her. She clings to his shoulders as he presses in further before drawing back. Her mouth drops open with a gasp as he begins to touch her the way she taught him in the shower. Gentle and eager, frowning just a little bit in concentration as his breathing picks up. He groans into her mouth when Rey captures his lips with another kiss in tandem with her twisting her hand and pressing firmly against the hard length still trapped beneath the fabric of his pants.

Rey cries out in surprise as Ben lifts her, moves her until she’s laying across the plush picnic blanket, fingers damp on her thighs before they withdraw. She watches him as he quickly works at his pants, opens them enough to push them down and free himself with a long sigh.

“Tight fit?” She teases, squeaking when he pushes up her skirt and then is over her, caging her in and kissing her again as sticky fingers drift up the soft skin of her inner thigh and settle back at her center again. Rey tries to arch up against him, but he pulls back every time until she bites his lip with a growl, then soothes it with her tongue. She feels him huff out a breath against her cheek and his tongue slips its way into her mouth as one thick digit presses inside of her once more.

Her hands scramble at his back as she moans into his mouth, legs splaying open further to urge him closer. She cries out his name when he finally stops kissing her to look down at her. She’s sure she’s a mess, face flushed and hair in disarray, but he smiles at her and she rolls her hips up against his hand.

“More?” he asks, and she watches him reach down and touch himself, large palm around his thick shaft and she nods, not looking away, releasing a low sound of want when he pulls out and pushes back in with another finger. “So pretty,” he mutters, gaze half-lidded as he watches where his fingers are disappearing, just as she’s watching him tug once, twice, at his cock, and then his thumb settles at her clit.

“Ben,” she whimpers, writhing beneath his touch and intense gaze. She cries out when his hand not buried within her heat comes up and begins tugging at her dress and the ties keeping it closed. Rey tries to help, but Ben knocks her hands away, and their groans echo each other when he finally gets it, freeing her, the overlapping sides of it falling open.

“Rey,” he croaks, before leaning back over her, mouth engulfing a breast, making her cry out, her hands finally having a point to anchor him to her. 

“Ben, Ben, Ben,” she chants, bucking up against him, nails raking down over his back as he switches to her other breast, teasing the nipple with his teeth, before licking over it and then opening his mouth taking in almost the entirety of it. She comes with a scream, feels the way Ben’s rhythm falters as she clamps down around him. “Ben,” she slurs, feathering her fingers through his hair, even while he stayed where he was, fingers buried in her cunt and mouth teasing at her chest. She felt incredible, and a little bit like the dessert Pooja had served them, that oozed out across the plate when she cracked it open.

“You okay?” Ben asks, easing up to look down at her, left hand caressing over her abdomen, then up to her chest, palming her gently.

She nods, wriggling a bit beneath him now and he bites his lip, glancing down in contemplation. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he confesses and Rey reaches up, pulling him down to kiss him.

“I trust you,” she tells him lowly, feels him tremble slightly against her as she laves her tongue against his lower lip. 

Gently he pushes at her legs, pliant body moving where he will, and she feels his fingers begin to move again, languidly, and Rey who had barely come down from the heights he had taken her too feels warmth bloom in her all over. 

She whines when his hand pulls out of her completely, then bites back a squeak of surprise when it returns with the sensation of _more_ is pressing into her. “Oh,” she gasps, hands flitting around, then settling low on her stomach. 

“Is it too much?” he asks, worry wrinkling his brow.

“No,” she moans, shifting beneath him, relaxing and letting her legs fall open further. “Don’t stop.” His thumb comes back, rolling over her bud, making her shudder, a hot line of want lancing up her spine even as three of his thick fingers sink deeper into her heat. It’s a lot, almost too much, but she’s seen his cock, touched it until he spilled his completion across her flesh. If she can’t take this – “Oh, kriff,” she sobs, fingertips pressing down into her flesh, “Ben, I’m gonna–” his pace picks up, plunging into her, and she’s overwhelmed. It’s so much and so good, and she’s babbling words that don’t string together into any sort of sentence, but she hears him murmur that he’s got her, let go. And she does, hazy darkness creeping in, but she pushes it back, breath hitching before she moans, her entire body trembling as Ben pushes her into blissful oblivion once more. 

She’s so wet, winces as she hears Ben’s fingers pull out from her, then watches with a hazy gaze as he plunges them into his mouth, sloppily sucking at them.

“If I could,” he begins, voice gruff with want as he crawls back over her, “I’d keep you like this. Smiling and satisfied, naked in a field of wildflowers.” Rey moans in response as he grasps at her thighs, pulling them around his waist. “Rey.”

She blinks, refocusing her gaze on his, which is heated and hungry, and full of a question. “Yes,” she nods in agreement, moving her legs to better anchor them around him. “I love you,” she tells him, pushing her cheek into his hand when he reaches up to cup her face.

“I love you too,” he grunts, wrapping his other hand back around his cock, and Rey shivers when he rubs the thick head of his length against her swollen and wet lips. “I’m probably not going to last very long,” he confesses with an adorable blush.

“That’s okay,” she breathes, reaching up to clutch at his hand. “We have time. Forever.”

He rolls his jaw and nods, eyes filling with tears that he furiously blinks away. Rey watches the way his chest heaves, the way he looks down to where they’re about to be joined as he guides himself into her. She gasps as the head of him presses inside, and he looks back up at her face.

“I’m okay,” she assures him. It’s intoxicating, the way he looks at her like he’s trying to drink her in with only his eyes, and she tugs his hand around to presses lingering kisses to the pads of his fingers. He slips back, then eases forward again, and she tries to relax, to keep breathing, but the size of him steals her breath. He rolls his hips again, sinking further into her and he chokes on her name. 

His hand releases his cock, smooths up her thigh, and he squeezes her tight. She rocks her hips up against his gently, knows she can take it and watches his knuckles turn white.

“Rey,” Ben warns, even as he sinks another inch into her.

“Ben,” she returns, biting at his fingertips now. “It’s okay, Ben, you won’t hurt me,” she assures him, and it doesn’t hurt, not really, it pinches a little, but it’s already fading, mostly she just feels overwhelmingly full.

“Okay,” he gasps now, easing into her, trembling with want, muscles coiled with restraint. It takes time, and gentle words, until he’s buried to the hilt within her, and she watches his jaw tense and roll as he breathes sharply through his nose. “Don’t move,” he hisses through gritted teeth, with eyes clenched tightly shut, and Rey makes a cooing noise in response, going back to gentle kisses against his hand until he pulls it away from her and holds himself still.

“I’m not-” he is still shaking, voice sounding broken. “You feel so good,” he tells her, finally looking down at her, and she smiles. “I’m sorry, I wanted-”

“Shhhh,” her touch glides up his chest. “I told you, we have time, and I already,” she flushes beneath him. “ _Twice_ ,” she reminds him. “Just feel me Ben. I’m here.”

He growls then, surging against her with unpracticed movements. It’s overwhelming, the feel of him within her, and she knows it must be mutual, because he calls out her name as he looks down at her, gaze wild at a little love drunk as his hips jerk harshly against hers, and then he’s gone. She’ feels his absence in her core, how could she not, but then his first hits the blanket beside her head and she feels the heat of his spend shoot across her as he whimpers.

For a moment they’re quiet, only their heavy breaths linger between them and Rey smiles again up at Ben, who is quick to return it. His hand reaches up to thumb at her lower lip and across her cheekbone, around the whorl of her ear, coming to rest where her pulse beats a rapid tattoo beneath her skin.

Ben curses when he pulls back and stares down at the mess he’s made across her stomach and Rey reaches a still trembling hand toward him. Her gaze drifts up to the dapple blue sky above them. “We shouldn’t have done this here,” he states, leaning over to riffle through the basket for something to clean themselves with.

It’s so absurd. Such a silly thing to be worried about, but also sweet of him to worry as well, but Rey begins to laugh. A small quiet thing that grows into something loud and delirious before she hiccoughs and begins to cry.

Ben is frowning now, freezing his search and she clamps her thighs around his. She’s sore and aching and still alight with pleasure but she is alive. And so is Ben. They’re both alive and together.

“Come back, I’m sorry” she pleads, reaching for him again as she feels him try to close himself off for her. Shut down so he can’t be hurt, but she shakes her head, willing him to see, to understand. She doesn’t care that she’s a mess, she can shower later, and so can Ben. He comes back to her easily, after the slightest hesitation, sighing as his body aligns with hers once more. “We’re alive,” she tells him, pushing his sweat-dampened hair from his face as her tears begin to wane. His body is warm and heavy and she feels every exhale from his chest. She makes a small noise of protest as he moves them, rolling them so he’s not on top of her, so that they’re pressed together laying on their sides and his arms come around her to hold her to him.

“Listen,” she whispers, breath fanning across his cheek, and he pulls back to look at her. “Listen.” Her eyes close. She can hear their mingled breaths, her heartbeat in her ears, but beyond that. The rasp of the tall grasses brushing against one another in the wind, the chatter of insects that make their home here. Overhead creatures fly, and if she listens hard enough she can hear the flap of their wings, the songs they sing as they call to one another. From farther away, water flows, and she can hear the gentle gurgling noise of it. Everything here is alive.

She opens to him, lets him know her every thought and feeling as she nudges her head beneath his chin. Later they can talk about how they can’t stay here forever, that there’s still work out there that needs to be done. Now though, she just wants him to know, to feel, to be alive with her.

He holds her tight, and tilts his head, pressing a kiss to her hair, and he stays there until she finally moves. Shrugging the fabric of her dress over her and leaning up to stare down at Ben. He captures her hand as it dances a path along a scar that’s no longer there and she glances up at him.

“Are you all right?” he asks, voice deep and warm and full of contentment.

“Yes,” she assures him.

“Good.” He sits up and pulls her into his naked lap. “You know, it’s usually considered incredibly rude to laugh right after sex?”

“Is it?” she asks, all mock innocence, pouting when he glares at her.

He hums. “You certainly could give the wrong idea.”

“Oh, well, it’s lucky we have a bond, so you don’t have to wonder.”

He snorts inelegantly, and reaches for the picnic basket. “Eat,” he instructs, pulling out two artfully wrapped sandwiches, “and after, we’re doing that again. Less laughter this time,” he adds, and she smiles.

“You do know it was because you were so worried about this,” she tells him, gesturing at her almost dried and messy stomach, “and not the actual - which was great.”

“Eat,” he repeats, fighting a smile when she taps her sandwich against his.

Rey eats until she’s comfortable, but not overfull, and shrugs fully out of her dress when she gets too hot. She tries to eat the candied fruit that are meant to serve as dessert, but Ben stopped being able to keep his hands to himself when she fished them out of the basket. She abandons them the moment his tongue drags over her collarbone, letting them fall to the back into the basket.

“Let me love you again,” he begs against her skin, and she nods, cheating only a little and using the Force to heal the tender spot between her legs. She wants him again.

The second time is better, less pinching, but she still feels so full. Rey pulls Ben down, holds him close as they rock against each other until he nudges a hand between them and rolls her clit between spit slicked fingers. She presses her forehead against his shoulder, and feels their bond sing, stretch and pull taut, and then explode the way stars streak past transparisteel when they jump to hyperspace. His hips stutter and still against hers and she feels him pulse within her, even as her own walls continue to flutter around the length of him.

Later they doze in the sun, curled around one another, Rey’s dress draped pitifully over them both. Ben rouses her just as the sun is beginning to set, and she settles once more in his lap, back against his chest, as she shares the candied fruit with him and they watch the colors paint the sky.

“I love it here,” she confesses when he threads his fingers with hers and settles their hands in her lap.

“It’s nice,” Ben agrees, and she can feel him tense.

“How long, do you think?” she asks as he peppers kisses across her freckled shoulders.

“The sooner the better, as much as I don’t want to.”

“Two days,” she decides, tilting her head to lean back against him. “I can contact someone, tomorrow, to let them know,” she says with a frown. “Poe,” then clicks her tongue. “Rose. I’ll send a transmission to Rose, and Chewie. They’ll both listen.”

Ben snorts. “I doubt Chewie—”

Rey cuts him off, tone firm. “He will. He’s the only one who knew about the Supremacy, he helped me get there. He still believes in you Ben.”

She can feel the twisted guilt within him, the ever-present grief.

“It’s done, Ben, we can’t change what happened, no one will be able to hurt you over what happened on Starkiller the way you do. When Chewie and I left Luke on Ahch-To, I told him everything. About the cave about the bond, and what Luke said. I told them both you were our last hope. Only one of them believed me and trusted me. He’ll give you a chance. I just know it.”

They linger in the field until it grows dark and chilly. Small bugs that luminesce creep out from where they had been hiding during the day. Rey wriggles back into her leggings and boots then attempts to catch one. It flits away from her and she laughs. Ben is fastening his pants when she slinks up next to him, hugging him, letting the heat of him warm her cooling body.

“This was the best day,” she whispers, smothering her smile against his chest when he turns to engulf her in his arms.

“It was,” he agrees. “Turn around,” he requests, and she obeys quickly, laughing when he attempts to fix her hair in the dark. 

“I can do that,” she tells him.

“But I want to.”

She sighs, but isn’t annoyed at all. “I love you.” He releases her with a contemplative hum and she stoops down to pick up her dress and his shirt. “Don’t,” she laughs against his mouth after he’s got his shirt on, but the front of her dress is still open, and he swoops in for a kiss. His large hands palm at her breasts, warm against the cold that tightens her nipples into hard peaks.

“When we get back,” he compromises, thumbs now flicking over her sensitive flesh. “We’re going to get in the bath, not the shower,” he specifies and Rey moans. “Gonna get your clean, and then get you dirty all over again.”

“Ben,” Rey snorts and he huffs a laugh against her before tugging the front of her dress closed with another kiss while he ties it up blind.

Rey is very certain anyone who sees them when they come back will know exactly what they’ve gotten up to out here, but she’s too happy to care. 

They walk back in the dark, hand in hand yet again, guided by the nighttime sky, and then eventually, the lights of Varykino, that stretch out across the grass to welcome them home.

The house is quiet as they stumble inside, and Ben leaves her in the entrance hall for a long minute to drop the picnic basket back off in the kitchen. When he returns he playfully stalks towards her, and Rey opens her mouth to ask what he’s doing, but then he’s lifting her off the ground. She barely bites back her laugh of surprise as she settles in his arms.

“Shhh,” he warns, bouncing her in his grip as her arms settle around his neck. 

“I am ‘shhh’” she hisses back, making him laugh quietly as he cradles him to her body before taking the stairs two at a time. “Kriff,” she yelps, holding on tighter. Then they’re at their room, and he’s turning, using the hand that had been braced beneath her back to open the door. He deposits her on the bed once they’re inside, presses a kiss to her temple, then retreats to close the door.

“Bath,” he states, striding into the fresher with purpose, and she follows, watching from his elbow as water streams from the faucet and fills the large basin that she will get into with Ben.

“Clothes, off,” he says, turning to her and beginning to tug at them as he hauls her closer to kiss. Rey welcomes his kiss and his touch with a quiet whimper as they divest each other of their clothes.

“Ohhh,” she moans, as Ben helps her step down into the tub. “Forget everything I said, we’re staying here forever.”

“As much as I would love that,” Ben says, stepping in after her and settling himself against her back. “We still have work to do.” Rey hums, cupping her hands and filling them with water beneath the surface. 

“It’s incredibly rude for you to suddenly start talking sense to me after an entire day of inane bantha poodoo.” Ben huffs and the water sloshes around them. “Thank you,” she says, instead of carrying on that train of thought. It was all over, all of the lies and the half-truths they had been manipulated with. None of that can hurt them now.

“For what?”

“For coming back for me.”

“I told you once,” he says, pulling her hair back over her shoulder, dampening the ends with his wet hands, “that you weren’t alone.” He rests his chin on her shoulder, running a palm across her stomach under the warm water. “I’m yours, and you’re mine,” he repeats her affirmation from the day they fled here and she turns, slippery in the water and presses a kiss to his mouth. “I’ll always come back for you, Sweetheart.”

Rey refuses to cry again, so she peppers his face with kisses instead and lets him wash her before he hastily washes himself.

They’re still a little wet when they fall into bed, waterdrops glistening on their skin. She drags her finger across his body, tracing the path of one. “We’ll come back,” she eventually says, a question and a statement all rolled into one.

“We’ll come back,” he agrees. 

Tomorrow they’ll contact the Resistance, and the quiet bubble of peace they’ve tentatively built here will burst. It will take time to fix things, and she doesn’t know when they’ll be back, so she determines to make the most of it.

After, laying across his chest sweaty and sated, she begins to talk. To tell him about the people he will meet, the people who will judge him for who he was and not who he can be. She explains, as he draws the covers up over them, that they’ve been running low on supplies, medical supplies especially, and here she quietly confesses Leia had been adamant that contraceptives were always available, because she remembers what war had been like, and Ben relaxes minutely against her when she quickly tacks on in a rushed ramble that she has an implant so what happened in the field and a few minutes prior was fine.

Rey talks about how tensions could run high, that everyone she knew had been working multiple jobs at all times. He asks, while he lazily draws patterns across her body with his fingers, about their needs, about how they could go about helping with leftover resources from the likely floundering First Order.

They fall asleep while still talking, bodies tangled together, and hope blooming between them, infusing the Force.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my love to meritmut

Pooja loans them a ship. Or, more accurately, acquires them a ship, quietly trading in Luke's X-wing for something that can actually accommodate the two of them. They pack their things up, meager possessions, worn shoes, the clothes they left Exegol in. For so long she had nothing, so to get rid of something, even if she died in it, is hard. So Ben packs it away for her without a word and then shrugs on his jacket. 

She runs her fingers through the fringe that falls across his brow, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. He looks relaxed and happy, and a lot like his dad with the jacket on. But she doesn’t tell him that, doesn’t even think it loud enough for him to pick up on, because she knows it’s a still-healing wound. He holsters his blaster on one hip and his mother’s saber on the other. 

It had been a long discussion after breakfast, and after her holocall with Rose. What saber he would take, since he sheepishly told her he threw his old one into the sea on Kef Bir.

“Couldn’t you have healed the crystal?” She had asked after a surprised beat of silence.

He sort of harrumphed, crossing his arms over his broad chest and looking to the floor. “Yes,” he eventually said, jaw clenched. And Rey had tried to be quiet, but when the first small laugh escaped she couldn’t stop.

“Sorry,” she snorted, leaning against him until he relaxed and wrapped his arms around her. 

“It’s fine. It was a little impulsive on my part, it felt right at the time.”

Then she had pulled out both sabers and tried to hand the one they had fought over to him. The one she had passed him through their bond.

“This one,” he said, reaching for the other with a whisper, hand shaking as it hovered above the weapon.

“It was Leia’s,” Rey confirmed.

“My mom’s?” He asked, slowly wrapping his fingers around the hilt and picking it up. “I never-“ he shook his head, making a funny noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob as he turns it this way and that, inspecting how it had been crafted.

“It’s yours now,” Rey tells him confidently with a smile, quietly slipping the one she had repaired onto her hip where it’s rested for a year now.

They bid their farewells to Pooja before the sun comes up on the planet, and they promise her they’ll be back.

Rey boards the ship first, letting Ben linger and say a few more words to his cousin. She slips into the copilot’s chair and leans back in it, staring at the instrument panel then out the viewport towards the sky.

“Ready?” Ben hops into the pilot's chair, running a hand through his hair as he smiles at her.

“Yes,” she tells him, with a matching grin.

“Where to?”

“Ajan Kloss.” 

“Really?” Ben asks, and Rey shrugs.

“Surprise,” she whispers and he laughs. 

Rey watches him as he inputs the coordinates and she twists in her seat to watch him better. She has to bite her lip when Ben fumbles over the ship’s controls, catching a glimpse of Rey’s stray thoughts that having to share a single seat again wouldn’t be all bad.

“Whoops,” she says with a grin that’s far from innocent.

It’s a good thing they have days of travel ahead of them.

Rey is jittery as they enter the Cademimu sector, knowing they only have a handful of hours left until they touch down planetside. She’s been in touch with Rose off and on, updating her on where they’re at, while Rose mostly navigates around the general mood of the camp. They’re all still riding the high of victory over the Final Order, and are waiting for Rey.

She takes Ben’s hand as they disembark from the ship. He’s wearing an expression of cool detachment but she can feel how nervous he is through the force. Nothing but Rey’s presence is protecting him from being shot on sight.

A small crowd is waiting for them in the camp. Poe and Finn at the front, and while none of them are holding their weapons, they’re armed, and look poised for anything. The draw to a stop several feet away, the silence thick and heavy with anticipation. 

“So, who talks first? You talk first? I talk first?” Is the first thing out of Ben’s mouth as it becomes clear no one knows how to start the conversation. Rey frowns, glancing up at him, but finds him focused solely on Poe, who’s lip curls in displeasure before taking a step forward.

“Don’t touch him,” Rey growls, slipping in front of Ben, a buffer between he and Poe, saber in her hand, but not ignited. The threat is clear and a few people take half a step back. 

Poe looks surprised by her vehemence and stops where he is.

“Rey-“ Finn tries to cut in, placating, while other voices rise up in shock. It’s all cut off by a roar, nearly deafening, and enough to shut everyone around them up.

Then, into the silence comes: “Ben Solo!” 

The crowd splits around the Wookiee and Maz until they are before the couple. 

She’s still poised for a fight but Ben’s hand on her shoulder, solid and comforting, finally stills her. Slowly her hand falls to her side. It takes Chewie all of two steps to reach the two of them, his blue eyes looking between Rey and Ben, then he brushes Rey aside and wraps Ben in his arms, picking him up while warbling out a greeting in Shyriiwook that has Rey turning away.

“What did I tell you,” Maz says, patting the saber Rey had found in her castle what feels like a lifetime ago. “Maz always knows, don’t you forget it.”

Rey turns back to watch Chewie fuss over a reluctant Ben. A furry hand cups his smooth cheek, brushing away quiet tears as Ben speaks quietly to the Wookiee.

“Rey?”’ Rose pushes through the crowd, sliding between Finn and Poe to grab at Rey’s hands before tugging her into a hug. “Oh my stars I’m so glad you’re okay, you had us all worried, you know?” She pulls back and glances over at Ben. “I get it though,” she adds with a lascivious wink that makes Rey blush and Maz laugh quietly beside her.

“Rose,” Finn warns, frowning.

“Don’t ‘Rose’, me, Finn. We discussed this,” she says, spinning back around and Rey feels like all of the air has been sucked out of her lungs.

“That was different,” Finn defends, crossing his arms over his chest. “That was hypothetical.”

“Hey, hey, can we maybe not do this here?” Poe interrupts. “There’s a lot of bad blood here, but the fight isn’t over. Rose is right, we talked about this. Come on. Everyone, go about your business.”

The seven of them make their way to the small space they have been using as their base of operations and Poe leans back against the wall, staring at Ben. “I don’t like you,” he starts, “I have no reason to trust you other than Rey and Chewie are both vouching for you, and,” he pauses, taking a deep breath, “I know Leia would have welcomed you back.”

Rey can feel Ben’s sorrow spike, but Chewie is there, ruffling at his hair, giving Rey a toothy smile. 

“It’s not going to be easy, and a lot of people out there hate you, but I know we’re going to need your help. So, tell us everything you know about the Trooper conditioning.”

“Me? Wouldn’t FN”– Ben clears his throat with a wince, “sorry, wouldn’t _Finn_ , be more knowledgeable? It was never my - Phasma and Hux were in charge of that.”

Poe scoffs. “So you’re telling me, your status as Supreme Leader didn’t come with access to that information?”

“It did...but I can’t access any of that from here.”

“Good. Debrief me, and then we’ll work on getting you onto a ship. We’re going to dismantle them and make sure every Trooper finally has a chance at life.”

A hesitant nod, and then Ben launches into a speech, allowing Finn to interrupt with pertinent information while the others listen. They don’t finish up until close to dinner time, but Poe releases them, instructs Rey to not let Ben out of her sight and for him to lay low.

“There are people who would see you dead, punished in answer for your crimes. We’ll see if we can’t get this First Order business sorted first, show people you’re trying to help, be better.”

“You can’t think this will change everyone’s mind, Dameron,” Ben grumbles as they walk.

“Nah, but it helps a little. Rey, welcome back,” he says with a quick nod before turning and jogging in the opposite direction.

“I’m exhausted already,” Ben sighs and Rey hums. “Where are we going?” He asks after a moment, well aware he is mostly lost in the jungle.

“Home,” she tells him with a smile, taking his hand in hers, leading him down a path she seems to know well, and then the trees open up, and there it is. The Millennium Falcon; and he sucks in a breath.

“Home,” he exhales the word and lets Rey drag him into the ship. It’s familiar and foreign all at once, overwhelming most of all. The main cabin is a mess of Rey’s making and it makes him feel more at ease. Her clothes are hung in the closet and the blankets on the bed are excessive, all pushed to one side, and he knows if he crawled in, it would smell of her.

“You okay?” She asks gently, squeezing his hand as she walks backwards further into the room.

A nod, another breath, and then “yeah, I’m okay.” He smiles at her then pulls her to him, wrapping her up in his arms, pressing his nose against her temple, following it up with a kiss.

He lets her undress him, and then his things are part of her mess, and the sheets do smell like her, though he has little chance to savor them as she pushes them all to the side as she climbs on top of him. She kisses him slowly, his hands languidly tracing paths over the expanse of her back. She loves him, presses the words against his throat and sternum and stomach. Pushes his thighs apart so she can nestle between them, kissing him where her hands touch, then up further, nipping at his hipbones while her hands fondle his balls. He says her name when her lips wrap around the weeping tip of him, and then he hears her declarations of love through their bond as she works her mouth over him until he can’t take anymore, gasping her name as she takes him in deeper, and he comes down her throat with a groan. 

Shaking he reaches for her, watching her lick the corner of her mouth. She squeaks when he grasps her, pulling her up and up until he can wrap his hands around her thighs and pull her body over his mouth.

“Ben,” she moans when his tongue makes contact with her cunt, and his fingertips press into the meat of her thighs, bringing her ever closer to him. He tells her he loves her with his lips wrapped around her clit, with his tongue buried deep within her. He tells her with her hands tangled in his hair and with one of his hands on her breast, teasing her nipple as she rocks against his face. 

“I love you,” he tells her, face sticky with her release as she slips down his chest.

“I love you,” she answers, wrapping a hand around his cock, ready and weeping for her again already. She kisses him as she sinks down onto him, her whole body shivering above him as she does. 

Every time it feels like everything he would never have, and he holds her close as she wrestles with the doubts in his mind. He grits his teeth as she rocks above him, chasing her release, fighting back his own.

“It’s okay,” she pants against his ear, and he groans, orgasm burning through him, moaning at the loss of Rey being so close as she sits up, still working herself on him as her fingers quickly circle her clit until she’s crying out once more, and he whimpers as he feels her body clench around his spent cock. 

When she burrows into his side and throws the blankets over them both he sighs in contentment, knowing that sleep will come easily to him tonight. He glances once more at the mess scattered across the floor and smiles. _Home_.

* * *

The next morning, Ben is in the Falcon, alone, for the first time since he snuck inside on Starkiller. Rey had walked off with an ‘ _I’ll be back_ ’ when Chewie had come in asking for help with something on the far side of camp. It’s a mess, and he can’t figure out what they’ve been doing with the ship, and there’re weird noises coming from some places, but he smooths his hands over the seat of the pilot’s chair before gently reaching out and touching his father’s dice, setting them in motion, swinging back and forth. He rubs a thumb over the burnished shine of them. The memories are visceral, and he lets them go quickly, listening to them click together. 

He hears the footsteps before he hears the voice. “Are you two having sex? It’s totally okay if you are, and honestly Rey, absolutely don’t blame you. How could you not want to climb him like a tree? Just let me know though? I don’t want to- oh! Hello, Ben, where's Rey?” Rose pulls up short at the sight of him as he meets her in the galley.

“Clearly not having sex,” he drawls, enjoying they way Rose’s eyes widen and she blushes. 

“Sorry. I ramble when I’m nervous.” She rallies quickly enough, composing herself and eyeing him critically. “You’re tall,” she says.

“So you’ve said- tree, remember.”

“No, you’re tall and I can’t find Chewie and I need your help, so come on prince of darkness.” She turns on her heel and strides away from him. Ben blinks and then scrambles after her, suddenly glad of the distraction.

“Prince of darkness?” He asks, longer legs catching up to her easily.

“You don’t expect me to believe no one has ever called you that before.” He can _hear_ her eye roll.

“Not to my face,” he tells her and it makes her laugh. He doesn’t remember the last time he’s made someone laugh, someone that wasn’t Rey. 

“So Tessalie built a nest up here and obviously that’s bad, but I can’t reach it.”

“What the stars is that?” Ben asks, flinching back from the wide eyes blinking back at him.

“A porg.”

“What?”

“They’re native to Ahch-to, but they’re a menace. Chewie likes them, don’t let him tell you otherwise, so we just kept them? Also, they thoroughly infiltrated the ship before Rey left the island, so I don’t think there was much hope of displacing them. They’re cute though, right?”

“That is certainly a word.” Rose laughs again and Ben can feel himself begin to smile. “So what am I supposed to do?” he asks, looking warily at the porg who begins to coo at him.

“Just kind of–” he turns to watch her make a scooping motion with both of her hands and Ben raises his eyebrows. “You have to be quick!” She adds, watching Ben slowly reach towards the porg.

It takes several tries, and the floor at their feet is a mess of feathers and insulation and Ben is sure he’s more traumatized than the porg, but he and Rose have managed to move the nest.

“See! That wasn’t so bad!” Rose declares smiling, hands on her hips.

“If you say so,” he says, brushing at bits of fluff on his torso.

“I do. Now, the fun part.” She turns and heads back down the hall. “Give me a boost?” She asks, pulling a small light from her belt. Ben hesitates a moment before kneeling, letting her put her foot in her hands, then carefully he lifts. “Not too bad,” she tells him after a moment. “You can let me down.” He does, still carefully and Rose hops out of his grasp. “Only a few exposed wires, easy fix this time.”

“This time?” He asks with trepidation.

“Ooooh, yeah, once, a few months back they almost ruptured the fuel line. That was a mess.” She laughs when she tells him, and Ben can’t help but gape at her. “Relax, prince of darkness. She’s in tip-top shape, well, as in good shape as this old gal can get these days.” She pats the wall almost lovingly and Ben smiles. 

“So, have you eaten breakfast yet?” She asks after a beat, “I brought rations.” She pulls them from her pocket with a flourish and hands one to him, he accepts it with a quiet ‘ _thank you_ ’.

And that’s how Rey and Chewie find them over an hour later, broken pieces of ration bars in their wrappers as they play a casual game of Dejarik, that Ben is somehow losing, much to Rose’s delight. 

Ben doesn’t turn away from the board, even when Rey comes over to kiss the top of his head.

“Your boyfriend is really bad at this Rey,” Rose tells her with a laugh.

“I’m just out of practice,” Ben grouses, grumbling when Chewie ruffles his hair, laughing with Rose and offering him some advice from over his shoulder. “Okay, okay,” Ben grumbles, doing as his uncle instructs, earning a pat on the shoulder for it. Rey slips into his lap, his hand going around her waist as she watches them play, picking at his leftovers. 

Later he glances up to catch Chewie watching the three of them, arms across his chest and looking more relaxed than Ben ever remembers seeing him look. More than that he looks happy. Rose and Rey are joking about several of the pieces as Rose considers her move and Ben curls his arm tighter around Rey. She turns to him, nose crinkling with her smile as she pops another bite of his ration bar into her mouth. 

A porg wanders in, a few fluffy grey porglettes waddling along behind it, all of them making more noise than it looks like they’re capable of and Chewie bends down to scoop them up. Rey asks Rose what the new ones are named and Rose just shrugs, making her move.

“I haven’t decided yet,” she tells them. “Your turn, Ben.”

It all feels too easy right now, he knows tomorrow and all of the days after will be hard, but the work they have left to do is important and needs to be done, but this, this is good, and Rey was right. This is home.

She presses up against his mind, a smug _told you so_. He pinches her side gently and she laughs, turning to kiss his cheek. _I love you._ It echoes across their bond, and he knows after everything is done, and the First Order is dismantled, he’s going to fight to keep this slice of happiness for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this right after TRoS, because gods did it hurt, it still hurts, but this helped. A lot. I'm choosing to end it here because it's been pretty light so far and bogging it down with a convoluted plot doesn't feel necessary (I have other fics that do that if you're really in the mood. lol). So picture what you will for what happens next, just know, that when all is said and done, they get married on the shores of Varykino with Rose and Chewie and all of his porgs in attendance. Finn cries, Poe gets really drunk on expensive wine and word vomits how happy he is for them both. The Force Ghosts show up and then Ben cries. Then they honeymoon visiting every green planet Ben has ever heard of. Several Porgs stowaway and Ben keeps kicking them out of the bedroom while Rey laughs.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read this, I hope this helped even a fraction of the amount it has helped me.


End file.
